Intermotabuconscielism

Intermotabuconscielism

Inter: as in interstate or highway or road

Mot: as in motor vehicle or car

Tab: as in tabulate or calculate or judge

U as in YOU

Conscie: as in conscientious

Lism: as in belief system or makes it sound like a real word

Intermotabuconscielism
Go ahead, look it up. I am pretty sure you won’t find it in any dictionary. My daddy made it up in 1987. What does it mean? I’m glad you asked. You would think after twenty-one years, I (or we, meaning Daddy, Mother, Sister & I) would have come up with an official definition. I do not think we got past the break down of the word. I think we were laughing too hard to go any further. It really was not funny, but sometimes you just have to laugh.

This incredible, new word emerged as a result of daddy’s meditating on my mishap. I was in my first year of college. I had taken a really funny picture of my roommate in a bathroom stall. She was fully clothed and leaving, and I was standing on the toilet in the next stall. Something about the angle from which it was taken combined with the surprised look on her face magnified her nose a little in the picture. Of course, this was way before the days of digital cameras in my world. I could not wait to get my pictures developed. My roomie had helped me type a research paper, and I owed her dinner. I actually owed her more, but she was very happy with being taken out to dinner.

We picked up the pictures on our way to dinner. We were in rush hour traffic when everyone was getting off from work. I pulled into a busy, four lane thoroughfare. She opened the pack of pictures, and I looked as she flipped through them. Keep in mind, I was supposed to be driving. She found the picture, and we both exploded into laughter. Our moment was short lived, for I soon rear ended a car that had actually stopped for a red light. Oh yeah, I was driving. My hood was arched like a lovely mountain peak. I instantly teared up and said, “I want my Daddy!”

My daddy is a truck driver and had my mother with him on this trip, and they just happened to be a couple of hours away. But that was way before I had a cell phone in my world too! I did the adult thing and got out and asked if everyone was ok. These people whose car I hit nodded very slowly. They looked like hippies from the sixties. We could not find a scratch on their car. I asked if they wanted us to call the police. They shook their heads slowly. I was a tad relieved, but not much. You know, they never uttered a word. They just got in their car and pulled off.
Dinner was a bit tainted. I should have put it off, but I felt indebted to my precious roommate, and we were both hungry. I do not remember if we actually were able to eat. Later I called home and talked to my sister. She tried to comfort me by telling me I had driven two years accident free, unlike her three in the first year she drove. It did not help. Daddy is a kind soul. He did not scold. He could tell I had learned a lesson. I was very upset that I had messed up the car that my parents so freely gave to me.

Anyway, a few weeks later, after my truck-driver daddy had time to ponder. He told me he had come up with a word I needed to learn. You guessed it: Intermotabuconscielism. He sounded out each syllable and explained its importance. My whole family laughed all the way through it. It may sound quirky, but it is mine. It was created just for me. In some weird way, it makes me feel special. And of course, it always makes me laugh.